Rabbit reporting from the Scottish Bunny Rowing Championships

Thought I’d share with you what Neville and I traded in some of my airmiles for at the weekend – we went to Glasgow to a big rowing regatta in Motherwell.

It was great.

Some of the finals had up to three boats in them and everything.

I was however promised sun, good food and some available lady bunnies - which admittedly I was warned could have slightly funny accents. Instead of this I got leaden skies, a “salad” with a lard dressing, and some scabby seagulls trying to pinch it from me.

To pass the time while Neville was trying his luck out at rowing, I pulled on my scarf and socks, did up my Mac, and went for a walk around the outside of the “loch” – which was quite a long way for two little legs. I had to stop several times for a rest..

I was about half way around when I was challenged by some baseball cap wearing local chavbuns who’d been watching me taking my home snaps. They demanded my coat and camera – so I legged it. Lucky for me, it seems it’s hard to keep up a pursuit weighed down by Elizabeth Duke jewellery – especially when you’re a small furry animal. I lost them by the finish tower, and hid in a bush until the heat died down.


Neville had quite a time. He ended up being pounced on by some school-bunnies who were competing. They told him to sit in the steering seat, shut-up, and not to break anything. To his delight, they won – but far from celebrating, the crew turned on him, hoisted him aloft and chucked him into the freezing, grey water. Apparently such assaults are traditional. The matter is in the hands of his solicitor.

We’re monitoring him for signs of Weil’s disease – but given Neville’s vast array of rare and embarrassing chronic conditions I hold out little hope that we could detect anything new. I have a cotton bud and some TCP in case of emergencies - I think the dose is one spoonful every four hours, but Neville complains about the taste. I’m still trying to work out where to stick the cotton bud, so suggestions from appropriately qualified folks invited.

I’ll be back Glasgow, and next time I’ll be better prepared..

(o;3