Hollywood: Reporter Hank Bunford
Walker, Texas Ranger, the successful high-kicking, kung-fu crazy martial arts knockabout show starring Hollywood hard man Chuck “I drank a vial of Bruce Lee’s sweat” Norris, is looking a shaky bet for the new season.
Ed the Beaver, Chuck’s key stunt beard on the show, has gone public on his lamentable pay and conditions, and has refused to film key fight scenes until his package is improved.
“Chuck’s beard isn’t as hard as the rest of him, and it’s heavily insured as it’s such an important part of the show: It gets some of the best lines after all” explains Ed, “so when the fight scenes are recorded, the beard gets put back into it’s oxygen tent, and I cling onto his chin.”
He continues, “It’s dangerous work. Both my front teeth are veneers which I had done after a disastrous numchuk gag in season 2. I had to cover the cost myself, and it wiped out pretty much my entire fee as stand in for Sharon Stone's bits on Basic Instinct."
After a surprise protest at a recent photo shoot (pictured) Ed has refused to return to work; “I’ve told Chuck – no more beaver on his face until I get fair pay for a fair days work.”
Horace Baloney, spokesman for the Rodent Actors Guild (RAG) sympathizes; “No one appreciates the unsung rodent heroes in high profile roles. There’s Sean Connery’s chest hair stand-in, Donald Trump’s Angora rabbit hare-piece – it’s really hard to balance on that head. It all deserves danger money, and being a stunt beaver must be more dangerous than most..”
Walker, Texas Ranger, the successful high-kicking, kung-fu crazy martial arts knockabout show starring Hollywood hard man Chuck “I drank a vial of Bruce Lee’s sweat” Norris, is looking a shaky bet for the new season.
Ed the Beaver, Chuck’s key stunt beard on the show, has gone public on his lamentable pay and conditions, and has refused to film key fight scenes until his package is improved.
“Chuck’s beard isn’t as hard as the rest of him, and it’s heavily insured as it’s such an important part of the show: It gets some of the best lines after all” explains Ed, “so when the fight scenes are recorded, the beard gets put back into it’s oxygen tent, and I cling onto his chin.”
He continues, “It’s dangerous work. Both my front teeth are veneers which I had done after a disastrous numchuk gag in season 2. I had to cover the cost myself, and it wiped out pretty much my entire fee as stand in for Sharon Stone's bits on Basic Instinct."
After a surprise protest at a recent photo shoot (pictured) Ed has refused to return to work; “I’ve told Chuck – no more beaver on his face until I get fair pay for a fair days work.”Horace Baloney, spokesman for the Rodent Actors Guild (RAG) sympathizes; “No one appreciates the unsung rodent heroes in high profile roles. There’s Sean Connery’s chest hair stand-in, Donald Trump’s Angora rabbit hare-piece – it’s really hard to balance on that head. It all deserves danger money, and being a stunt beaver must be more dangerous than most..”
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