Entertainment: Reporter Kurt Enkall
Worrying times ahead for Jennifer Buffalopez, self styled cow-diva, who is hitting the headlines again with her love-life the subject of gossip and rumour – whilst at the same time her fans are deserting her in herds.
J-Buffa-Lo, recent winner of three prestigious “Patty” awards for her last album “Me and My Moo-sic” has been losing a worrying amount of weight since the first release from it, “Jenny from the Paddock”, met with howls of laughter from critics and her many previously faithful fans.
In the video, multi-millionaire Buffalopez parades her diamond encrusted ear tag, and wiggles her manicured hoof at the camera whilst singing lyrics such as “Don't be fooled by the silage that I got, I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the paddock”. Fans smelled more than a slight whiff of hypocrisy and didn’t buy it – in their millions.
Simultaneously long-term beau Ben Afflank – rumoured to be a bit of a rump man – has been caught on camera with a lap-dancing Fresian in a cheap byre off Sunset Strip. Buffalopez has changed the locks on her luxurious Bel-Aire barn, thrown his belongings on the rolling pasture outside and put up a barbed-wire fence at man-cow undercarriage level.
Her publicist, Bob Honk, denies any health problems; “J-Buffa-Lo has been on a low-grass diet and a new exercise regimen in preparation for her upcoming world tour, which she will undertake once we have sold some tickets. If you’re interested you can have two for a fiver..”
Worrying times ahead for Jennifer Buffalopez, self styled cow-diva, who is hitting the headlines again with her love-life the subject of gossip and rumour – whilst at the same time her fans are deserting her in herds.
J-Buffa-Lo, recent winner of three prestigious “Patty” awards for her last album “Me and My Moo-sic” has been losing a worrying amount of weight since the first release from it, “Jenny from the Paddock”, met with howls of laughter from critics and her many previously faithful fans.
In the video, multi-millionaire Buffalopez parades her diamond encrusted ear tag, and wiggles her manicured hoof at the camera whilst singing lyrics such as “Don't be fooled by the silage that I got, I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the paddock”. Fans smelled more than a slight whiff of hypocrisy and didn’t buy it – in their millions.
Simultaneously long-term beau Ben Afflank – rumoured to be a bit of a rump man – has been caught on camera with a lap-dancing Fresian in a cheap byre off Sunset Strip. Buffalopez has changed the locks on her luxurious Bel-Aire barn, thrown his belongings on the rolling pasture outside and put up a barbed-wire fence at man-cow undercarriage level.Her publicist, Bob Honk, denies any health problems; “J-Buffa-Lo has been on a low-grass diet and a new exercise regimen in preparation for her upcoming world tour, which she will undertake once we have sold some tickets. If you’re interested you can have two for a fiver..”
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