Sunday 22 July 2007

Wizard Rabbit takes on his nemesis in final novel


Arts: Reporter J. Philippus Gerbile

Around the world, rodents queued up last night to be the first to get their paws on the final chapter in the Harey Potter septology. Although critics feel the series has lost some of its initial impact, eager but bleary eyed bunnies will have leafed their way through the 706 page volume through the night.

Low key highlights in the latest volume include Bunndledore fighting a charmed carrot with an electric grater and a bottle of vinegrette, Dogred choking on a Percy Pott’s every-flavour raisin, Potter’s enemy Malfrog meeting an untimely end under the wheels of an in-flight service trolley, and Severus Snake having his credit card refused when trying to buy Wolfsbane on tick.

Squillionare author JK Bunling launched the book in London, and told those gathered, “I enjoyed writing this one more than all the others, because I switched from Works for Windows to Office 2003.”

Just before the final showdown between Potter and nemesis Voleymort, best friend Bun Weasley cops off with the evil necromancer who assumes the physical form of Cindy Crawford. The final chapter contains the biggest twist since Chubby Checker went platinum, and which we won’t spoil for those of you who intend to read the book.

Harey Potter and the Earthy Burrows is priced at between £16.98 and £16.99 and is available in every single book shop in the entire known universe.

Rabbit says: I’ve bought a copy of this for Neville for his birthday, but I’m toying with the idea of taking out the final page. I can save it for a highly economical Christmas present for him..

(o;3

2 comments:

Ellie said...

"every flavour raisin" got me good, "squillionaire" made me laugh out loud, but "voleymort"? well that just gave me the chills. I absolutely bow to your skills of punnery. ***bowing as I retreat***

Rabbit said...

Aw shucks...

If I didn't have a pelt I'd be blushing..

(o;3