Celebrity news..

I don't normally dabble in these kind of things, but..

My sources close to all things celebrity have uncovered a quite remarkable faux-story being played out in the twinkly streets of Tinsel Town.

Long time personal-issue media expose queen Britney Spears (Pictured - being surprised by fearless bunny reporter Earnie O'Hare), has had more than her fair share of issues of late - but can you guess what pushed her over the edge into rehab?

Drink? Drugs? The end of her second marriage?

None of the above. We can exclusively reveal that Britney sought professional help to try and come to terms with a mystery condition that is affecting many ailing celebrities both here and abroad. Britney was in conflict with her Inner Rabbit.

Until very recently Britney has been a huge consumer of lettuce and carrots, making "vzz" noises and licking herself clean. Previously explained away by friends and entourage as Britney "just being a bit weird, like" it took a chance encounter with reknowned Professor of Bunnythropomorphism, LeRoy Spatula at a lettuce dependancy support group for the diagnosis to be made.

Swiftly, arrangements were made for Brit to be admitted to The Warren in Beverly Hills for concentrated therapy sessions of fluffy ear wearing, cotton tail preening, and water bottle practice.

After hopping around the exercise yard eating her own poo and attempting to tunnel under the perimeter wall using her teeth, Britney was deemed "Adjusted" and given a conditional discharge from the hospital before she could do any more damage.

Apparently now on the road to recovery she was recently back on the stage singing, and the professionals think that her once shiny coat will grow back in a couple of months. But Professor Spatula urges caution; "Your inner rabbit is a fragile thing. It could be a throw-away comment, a missed meal or marrying Kevin Federline. They're all highly risky behaviours."

A lesson for us all there.

(o:3