Surrey, UK: Reporter Tub Thumper
Salvos were exchanged again over the weekend, as the ongoing Cow and Sheep battle for the hearts, minds and stomachs of the carnivorous population took on a new dimension.
As the Cow Protection League published their latest billboards, ace
ad-house Baatchi & Baatchi unveiled the first part of a counter-campaign in an attempt to foil the moderately successful “Eat more Sheep” advertisements that have been blanketing the animal media.
“It’s incredible that the cows have been able to get away with this for so long”, complained Reece Fleece, PR ram for the Hug a Sheep Campaign, “and we intend a long hot summer of high-level activism with supporters such as Larry the Lamb, Lambchop, and that ewe that’s chewing the cud in the background on the Antiques Roadshow titles.”
The Cow Protection League spokesman “Rusty” Ribeye Fetlock, was reserved when asked for a comment; “We are aware of this campaign, and will be taking legal advice about the tactics they are employing. It could be pretty short lived – a case of ram-bam thank you lamb.”. He then dissolved into fits of moo-y laughter.
Leaked documents from the radical wing of the Hug a Sheep Campaign suggest frank violence is not out of the question. Plans for explosive cattle grids, souped up electric fences capable of inducing cardiac arrest, and milking machines powerful enough to suck up an entire cow by the udders have been recovered.
FACAS (the Farmyard Animal Conciliation and Arbitration Service) have made initial approaches to the two pressure groups, hoping to broker a truce. They were told to “moo-off” by the only party to return their call. It is thought sheep have yet to evolve enough to operate telephones.
This one has legs. And udders. Lots of them.
Rabbit says: This has the possibility of tearing the countryside apart, even more than the Badger vs. Frog feud of 1987. It’s simply terrible. I’m offering odds of 3:1 on for the cows if you’re interested.
Salvos were exchanged again over the weekend, as the ongoing Cow and Sheep battle for the hearts, minds and stomachs of the carnivorous population took on a new dimension.
As the Cow Protection League published their latest billboards, ace
ad-house Baatchi & Baatchi unveiled the first part of a counter-campaign in an attempt to foil the moderately successful “Eat more Sheep” advertisements that have been blanketing the animal media.“It’s incredible that the cows have been able to get away with this for so long”, complained Reece Fleece, PR ram for the Hug a Sheep Campaign, “and we intend a long hot summer of high-level activism with supporters such as Larry the Lamb, Lambchop, and that ewe that’s chewing the cud in the background on the Antiques Roadshow titles.”
The Cow Protection League spokesman “Rusty” Ribeye Fetlock, was reserved when asked for a comment; “We are aware of this campaign, and will be taking legal advice about the tactics they are employing. It could be pretty short lived – a case of ram-bam thank you lamb.”. He then dissolved into fits of moo-y laughter.Leaked documents from the radical wing of the Hug a Sheep Campaign suggest frank violence is not out of the question. Plans for explosive cattle grids, souped up electric fences capable of inducing cardiac arrest, and milking machines powerful enough to suck up an entire cow by the udders have been recovered.
FACAS (the Farmyard Animal Conciliation and Arbitration Service) have made initial approaches to the two pressure groups, hoping to broker a truce. They were told to “moo-off” by the only party to return their call. It is thought sheep have yet to evolve enough to operate telephones.
This one has legs. And udders. Lots of them.
Rabbit says: This has the possibility of tearing the countryside apart, even more than the Badger vs. Frog feud of 1987. It’s simply terrible. I’m offering odds of 3:1 on for the cows if you’re interested.
2 comments:
I'm pretty sure that adverts like the recent dairylea dunkables (sic) animated cows will result in a palpable swing to the ovine. especially as the ad rips it out of the great escape, and nobody uses Steve McQueen to sell cheese and lives!
Yours,
Ratty McRaisin-turd
It's neck (of beef) to neck (of lamb) in this titanic struggle, my insiders inform me. Expect the pigs to be dragged, squealing, into it as well.
It's a farmyard apocalypse.
Yay!
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