Cape Canaveral: Science Correspondent Frank DeNile II
Top officials at the NASA space centre were forced to come clean this weekend when shocking new pictures from the moon landing program came to light.
For decades, sad, lonely conspiracy theorists have been glued to their pc monitors, desperately searching for any hint of a trace of evidence that man never actually went to the moon. Criticisms that the pictures were too good, too well lit, or had an errant Snickers bar wrapper on the floor in one of them, were widely dismissed by the rest of humanity – and those peddling them told to “go and get a life, or a puppy or something.”
But now, NASA have been forced to reveal Rabbit NASA – codenamed ‘Project 9’– a major program that ran simultaneously with human training. Elite Bunnies were selected from the Armed Forces and trained relentlessly to pursue their mission goal: “To boldly go where there may be carrots.”
NASA had their hand forced by photographs, independently assessed by people who know about these kinds of things, who verified their authenticity and expressed themselves “gobsmacked” by their content. The unedited version of one famous photo clearly shows the “Pressurized ear protection capsules” from the Astrorodent suit – previously airbrushed out to make the suit wearer appear more humanoid.
Spokesman Dr Hugh Kidme confirmed the historic news at a press conference held in a burrow near the space centre on Sunday morning; “NASA is in a position to confirm that rodents did make it to the moon before humans on May 12th 1969. So in effect there was a ‘small hop’ on the moon five weeks before the first step.”
The identity of the Bunny that took on the final frontier is not being revealed; “We tried to track down the Rabbit in the photo, and although we haven’t been able to confirm it, it seems he may well have been run over in 1972 by a Hippy on weed, driving a Chevrolet pick-up truck. We lost a lot of Astrorodents like that.”
Plans to erect a permanent memorial to the unnamed hero are being considered by Rabbit NASA and as a tribute a Rabbit in a rocket pack will jet into the centre of the pitch during the first ad-break of next years Superbowl.
Rabbit says: I’m not one to crow, but rumour has it Rabbits have beaten humans to many major achievements, such as climbing Everest, eating 3 Shredded Wheat, and first non-stop circumnavigation of Rosanne Barr without a safety net.
Top officials at the NASA space centre were forced to come clean this weekend when shocking new pictures from the moon landing program came to light.
For decades, sad, lonely conspiracy theorists have been glued to their pc monitors, desperately searching for any hint of a trace of evidence that man never actually went to the moon. Criticisms that the pictures were too good, too well lit, or had an errant Snickers bar wrapper on the floor in one of them, were widely dismissed by the rest of humanity – and those peddling them told to “go and get a life, or a puppy or something.”
But now, NASA have been forced to reveal Rabbit NASA – codenamed ‘Project 9’– a major program that ran simultaneously with human training. Elite Bunnies were selected from the Armed Forces and trained relentlessly to pursue their mission goal: “To boldly go where there may be carrots.”
NASA had their hand forced by photographs, independently assessed by people who know about these kinds of things, who verified their authenticity and expressed themselves “gobsmacked” by their content. The unedited version of one famous photo clearly shows the “Pressurized ear protection capsules” from the Astrorodent suit – previously airbrushed out to make the suit wearer appear more humanoid.
Spokesman Dr Hugh Kidme confirmed the historic news at a press conference held in a burrow near the space centre on Sunday morning; “NASA is in a position to confirm that rodents did make it to the moon before humans on May 12th 1969. So in effect there was a ‘small hop’ on the moon five weeks before the first step.”
The identity of the Bunny that took on the final frontier is not being revealed; “We tried to track down the Rabbit in the photo, and although we haven’t been able to confirm it, it seems he may well have been run over in 1972 by a Hippy on weed, driving a Chevrolet pick-up truck. We lost a lot of Astrorodents like that.”Plans to erect a permanent memorial to the unnamed hero are being considered by Rabbit NASA and as a tribute a Rabbit in a rocket pack will jet into the centre of the pitch during the first ad-break of next years Superbowl.
Rabbit says: I’m not one to crow, but rumour has it Rabbits have beaten humans to many major achievements, such as climbing Everest, eating 3 Shredded Wheat, and first non-stop circumnavigation of Rosanne Barr without a safety net.
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