(From the pages of todays Bunny Times)
On the Bunny Banks of Loch Lomond: Reporter Taffeta Catheter
Archived files obtained from the RAF base in Inverleakie have suggested a possible, shocking new reason for the recent spate of rabbit disappearances from the locality.
Morgan McWaterfountain worked hard to provide his family during the hardest of times and the harshest of winters. It was in January this year that he left to go carrot-napping at the local greengrocer, but after 24 (hungry) hours, it fell to his partner Agnes to raise the alarm. She was amazed.
"I was amazed", she says; "One minute he was there, the next - gone. There was so much snow we were worried he'd falled somewhere, so we got together a search team and went to look for him. We checked the pub-holes first, but couldn't find him anywhere. Vanished."
From the documents that came into our possession anonymously from the nearby RAF base, we show Agnes a photograph marked "Top Secret".
She points at the page; "His tracks? Are they?" We nod. "They just stop.. where could he have gone?"
It has been suggested that the strange disappearances have been due to Alien Bunny Abduction, who cruelly exploit the abductees to create horrific, bizarre hybrids for food. Or maybe just for the fun of it. We don't really know to be honest.
Evidence of this can be seen elsewhere in the Loch Lomond area, with some rabbits faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap on to the kitchen counter to get at the rabbit food - but allergic to glowing green rocks.
Others have more visible evidence of genetic manipulation.
The character pictured here is now in custody, having eaten his parents and 45 of his siblings. So there are risks.
Sadly for Agnes, Morgan did not return.
Which brings us to the alternative explanation.
Whilst Morgan returned half cut from the Pub-Hole (having traded the carrots for fermented lettuce juice) a ruddy great bird flew down, grabbed him, leaving feather marks in the snow, and flew off.
And then ate him.
Tough life being a rabbit..
2 comments:
There's an alternative explanation: the genetic experiments you were detailing may have created the BunnyHawk. If Pegasus could exist in ancient times and nessie remains unfound (no proof she ain't a bunny either) then a large winged flopsy with a mutated cottontail for navigation seems feasible to me. Just not too good on the landings yet, what?
Follow your line of reasoning. Perhaps that why the records were at the RAF base.
My sources tell me that there may be further revelations.
Stay tuned.
(o;3
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