Aldershot UK: Reporter Corny Cobb
Army chiefs handling the recent Prince Harry controversy have formulated an action plan to fill the gap in the regimental line-up left by his withdrawal. Rather than draft in a spare hand from another regiment, forces staff have handed the role to Rambun, the regimental Rabbit.
The furry forces specialist is undergoing a strenuous catch-up program to enable him run a mile and a half in ten minutes wearing full battle dress, a 90lb Bergen, assault rifle, clean hay for a carbohydrate boost, and isotonic fluid replacement in a rabbit drink bottle.
He stated; “I’m delighted to be able to serve my country and help out his Royalness in this way, and I’m glad to follow in the footsteps of such illustrious animal Army personnel as the Desert Rats, Jungle Gerbils and Forest Ferrets.”
After his first day of intensive training, senior officers were officially “Content” with his progress, but unconfirmed reports suggest that recoil from the gun was responsible for propelling Rambun around 20 feet down the rifle range. This, together with his mediocre aim resulted in seven bystanders being hospitalized by stray bullets and shrapnel.
An un-named officer present was asked if a herbivore would have the ability to kill; “I’ll say – he’s bloody lethal. There haven’t been more British soldiers wounded in one day since the Somme.”
Good luck to our boys, girls, and rabbits – and a word of advice: Make sure you’re standing behind him when his paw is on the trigger.
Army chiefs handling the recent Prince Harry controversy have formulated an action plan to fill the gap in the regimental line-up left by his withdrawal. Rather than draft in a spare hand from another regiment, forces staff have handed the role to Rambun, the regimental Rabbit.
The furry forces specialist is undergoing a strenuous catch-up program to enable him run a mile and a half in ten minutes wearing full battle dress, a 90lb Bergen, assault rifle, clean hay for a carbohydrate boost, and isotonic fluid replacement in a rabbit drink bottle.He stated; “I’m delighted to be able to serve my country and help out his Royalness in this way, and I’m glad to follow in the footsteps of such illustrious animal Army personnel as the Desert Rats, Jungle Gerbils and Forest Ferrets.”
After his first day of intensive training, senior officers were officially “Content” with his progress, but unconfirmed reports suggest that recoil from the gun was responsible for propelling Rambun around 20 feet down the rifle range. This, together with his mediocre aim resulted in seven bystanders being hospitalized by stray bullets and shrapnel.
An un-named officer present was asked if a herbivore would have the ability to kill; “I’ll say – he’s bloody lethal. There haven’t been more British soldiers wounded in one day since the Somme.”
Good luck to our boys, girls, and rabbits – and a word of advice: Make sure you’re standing behind him when his paw is on the trigger.
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