Well, we’re almost back into Rabbit Society time.. The garden (eating) parties, the cucumber sandwiches (although being rabbits we normally skip the bread) the small talk. The ladies. The loneliness… (*sigh*)
Anyway, I was thinking: “How can I help my fellow Rabbits? How can I leave a legacy that improves our lot and inspires us to better ourselves?”
Rabbit etiquette.
Ok – it’s not world peace or the everlasting carrot, but it avoids those embarrassing moments when you meet your hostess with grass around your mouth, or lettuce breath. So I thought I might serialise a few of them in the run up to society events.
1. How to respond to an invitation.
Invitations are received, not sought. A good winters networking in the burrows of influence should, if you’re fortunate, move you into the spheres of power where a carrot juice cocktail party should be a regular event.
Do not disgrace yourself like Neville did last year. There was an unfortunate event at the office Bunnymass party where Neville (dressed as a well padded Santa Paws) caused an incident (which I may relate some other time), which harmed his social situation.
Come late spring the elegant, plain, gilt-edged invitations for the Buck Ball (hosted by Lady Furfoot-Fuzzygusset) were dispatched in their beautiful, paw-written, embossed, scented, watermarked envelopes.
Of course by the time they reached their recipients, those that had not disappeared in transit had been reduced by the Bunny Mail to mangled, dirty, dog-eared pulp, cut open on the off chance that there was something of value within.
Anyway, mine arrived eventually and was still readable. I wrote a short, direct reply with appropriate thanks, and indicating my delight at confirming I would attend.
Neville received no invitation.
Assuming it had been lost in a sorting warren somewhere, he took it upon himself to visit upon her Ladyship to ask for a replacement invitation.
Mistake. You should never embarrass a lady bunny of means in this way.
Second mistake: Upon meeting with the hostess, when it becomes apparent that you have made the first mistake it is inappropriate to beg, cry, throw your glass of lettuce tea into the fireplace in disgust and bite the nearest servant – before being carted away by the bunny constabulary screaming like a girl.
Such impetuousness is detrimental to the chances of an invite the following year.
Neville shared a cell that night with a recently arrested rogue mail worker rabbit, a "lady" rabbit with an Adam’s apple and big paws - and a bar of soap.
Oddly, he doesn’t talk about it much.
(o;3
Anyway, I was thinking: “How can I help my fellow Rabbits? How can I leave a legacy that improves our lot and inspires us to better ourselves?”
Rabbit etiquette.
Ok – it’s not world peace or the everlasting carrot, but it avoids those embarrassing moments when you meet your hostess with grass around your mouth, or lettuce breath. So I thought I might serialise a few of them in the run up to society events.
1. How to respond to an invitation.
Invitations are received, not sought. A good winters networking in the burrows of influence should, if you’re fortunate, move you into the spheres of power where a carrot juice cocktail party should be a regular event.
Do not disgrace yourself like Neville did last year. There was an unfortunate event at the office Bunnymass party where Neville (dressed as a well padded Santa Paws) caused an incident (which I may relate some other time), which harmed his social situation.
Come late spring the elegant, plain, gilt-edged invitations for the Buck Ball (hosted by Lady Furfoot-Fuzzygusset) were dispatched in their beautiful, paw-written, embossed, scented, watermarked envelopes.
Of course by the time they reached their recipients, those that had not disappeared in transit had been reduced by the Bunny Mail to mangled, dirty, dog-eared pulp, cut open on the off chance that there was something of value within.
Anyway, mine arrived eventually and was still readable. I wrote a short, direct reply with appropriate thanks, and indicating my delight at confirming I would attend.
Neville received no invitation.
Assuming it had been lost in a sorting warren somewhere, he took it upon himself to visit upon her Ladyship to ask for a replacement invitation.
Mistake. You should never embarrass a lady bunny of means in this way.
Second mistake: Upon meeting with the hostess, when it becomes apparent that you have made the first mistake it is inappropriate to beg, cry, throw your glass of lettuce tea into the fireplace in disgust and bite the nearest servant – before being carted away by the bunny constabulary screaming like a girl.
Such impetuousness is detrimental to the chances of an invite the following year.
Neville shared a cell that night with a recently arrested rogue mail worker rabbit, a "lady" rabbit with an Adam’s apple and big paws - and a bar of soap.
Oddly, he doesn’t talk about it much.
(o;3
1 comment:
Haw haw haw! I remember the invitation debacle! He left claw marks in the parquet you know!
Quaff Quaff
Q Bunny-heffer the IVth
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